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The Perfection Deception

From the Show: Wellness for Life
Summary: What is so wrong with being perfect, or even just the concept of perfectionism?
Air Date: 9/18/15
Duration: 10
Host: Susanne Bennett, DC
Guest Bio: Jane Bluestein, PhD
Jane-BluesteinA dynamic and entertaining speaker, Dr. Jane Bluestein has worked with thousands of educators, counselors, healthcare professionals, parents, childcare workers, and other community members world-wide. She has appeared internationally as a speaker and talk-show guest, including several appearances as a guest expert on CNN, National Public Radio and The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Dr. Bluestein specializes in programs and resources geared to provide practical and meaningful information, training and hope in areas related to relationship building, effective instruction and guidance, and personal development. Much of her work focuses on interactions between adults and children, especially children at risk. Her down-to-earth speaking style, practicality, sense of humor, and numerous stories and examples make her ideas clear and accessible to her audiences.

Jane is an award-winning author whose books include Creating Emotionally Safe Schools; High School’s Not Forever; 21st Century Discipline; Being a Successful Teacher; Parents in a Pressure Cooker; Parents, Teens, & Boundaries; The Parent’s Little Book of Lists: Do’s and Don’ts of Effective Parenting; Mentors, MastersMrs. McGregor: Stories of Teachers Making a Difference; and Magic, Miracles & Synchronicity: A Journal of Gratitude and Awareness. Dr. Bluestein’s latest books include The Win-Win Classroom, Becoming a Win-Win Teacher, and Managing 21st Century Classrooms.

Formerly a classroom teacher (in inner-city Pittsburgh, PA), crisis-intervention counselor, teacher training program coordinator, and volunteer with high-risk teens at a local Day Treatment Program, Dr. Bluestein currently heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
  • Book Title: The Perfection Deception: Why Trying to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage
  • Guest Facebook Account: https://www.facebook.com/doctorbluestein
  • Guest Twitter Account: @janebluestein
The Perfection Deception
What is so wrong with being perfect or even just the concept of perfectionism? 

According to Dr. Jane Bluestein, author of The Perfection Deception: Why Trying to Be Perfect Is Sabotaging Your Relationships, Making You Sick, and Holding Your Happiness Hostage, in terms of perfectionism, it's important to distinguish between being disappointed that you put in the work and didn't get the results you want and constantly feeling like you're not good enough, or you experience stress, anxiety and fear that you're going to continually make mistakes.

The difference is quite significant, and the biggest factor is that perfectionism is based in fear. 

As Dr. Jane puts it, “healthy striving” does not usually involve trying to prove ourselves or our worth, and it wouldn’t be likely to be used as a way of avoiding feelings or dealing with the real issues in our lives. Not only that, but one individual's perfectionism may look very different from how it shows up in someone else.

For instance, says Dr. Jane, "I tend to cross the line when I’m overcommitting or overcorrecting, or when I actually think I can accomplish a to-do list that would reasonably take weeks to finish. For other people, it may demand plastic surgery or self-starvation to get their body to look a certain way, a failure to start a project (or finish one), not letting their kids have friends over because it will mess up the house, or, say not being able to work if there is one stray paper clip on their desk."

Listen in as Dr. Jane joins Dr. Susanne to share more about the dangers of striving to be perfect, as well as the message she wanted to get across in her book.