Adulting & Etiquette: How to Function Graciously

From the Show: HER
Summary: Learn tips to have an easier life and be gracious with others.
Air Date: 7/17/17
Duration: 25:40
Host: Michelle King Robson and Pam Peeke, MD
Guest Bio: Kelly Williams Brown, Author
Kelly Williams BrownKelly Williams Brown is the New York Times bestselling author of Adulting: How to Become a Grown Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps, which has been translated into nine languages.

Previously, she was a features reporter and an award-winning humor columnist for the Statesman Journal, a daily newspaper in Salem, Oregon, which is where she lives now with her dog, Eleanor, who may in fact be a Muppet.
  • Book Title: Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps, GRACIOUS: A Practical Primer on Charm, Tact, and Unsinkable Strength
  • Guest Facebook Account: www.facebook.com/adulting
  • Guest Twitter Account: @TheGraciousBook
Adulting & Etiquette: How to Function Graciously
You get out of high school and college knowing what you learned from hitting the books. You didn’t learn how to rent an apartment or deal with real-life stuff.

Adulting is all about tackling tasks related to adult living. All of these steps are optional and don’t define if you’re a good or bad person. The goal of adulting is to make life easier on you.

Some Adulting Tips

  • Cook for yourself. Save money and eat healthy.
  • Buy toilet paper in bulk. You’ll always need it and it doesn’t perish.
  • Act like you’ve been there before. In social situations, take a deep breath and act like you belong. You were on the same guest list as the other people at the party or in the workplace.
  • Wipe up spills when they happen. It will never be easier to wipe it up than in that moment.
  • Make your bed every day. It gives you a clean surface for laying out clothes. It also kicks your day off with intention. You don’t have to worry about ending the day in tangled sheets.
Being gracious is a step above adulting. Gracious people genuinely care for other people. Graciousness is recognizing the humanity of others around you and being grateful.

How to Be Gracious

  • Learn to say “no.” We’re reluctant to turn down invitations because we focus on people pleasing. No need to labor over explanations. Don’t say “yes” when you don’t want to go. It’s better than flaking the day of the event.
  • Don’t correct someone else’s behavior unless they ask for it or you’re raising a child. Focus on correcting your own behavior.
  • If you’re with someone who is phone-focused, ask if your companion needs to take some time to just acknowledge what’s happening on the phone. Chronic phone use during social gatherings may prompt a conversation about rescheduling for a time of reduced phone traffic.
  • Set the expectation that you won’t always be available immediately on your phone. You don’t have to have 70 conversations at once. Make your time with people meaningful.
  • When faced with political difference, consider the humanity of the person in front of you. You don’t know what experiences that person has had. Just listen. Make the discussion about the ideas. If you reach an impasse, redirect the focus of your talks to more pleasant topics.
Listen as Kelly Williams Brown joins Dr. Pamela Peeke to discuss how you can lead an easier life and be more mindful in your relationships.


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